En onemli seyleri bir salisede unutuyorum da yine geliyorsun aklima. Senden once, senden sonra... Hicbir seyi degistirmedin aslinda. Kapi acmadigin gibi, olanlari da kapattin. Iste o kapilarin ardina zar zor sigdirilmis yasanmisliklar olur olmaz anlarda doluyor benligime.
Hatirliyorum seni, ne kadar umrumda olmasa da. Kucucuk mimiklerin, Bir kac gunden, bir kac olaydan bir dolu ayrinti. Kucucuk, anlamsiz, anlamli. Guzelligin kadar, hatta daha fazla acimasizligin, duygusuzlugun diyelim. Bir anda icimde acan o muthis cicek ve onun solusu. Hic kimse, sen dahil, o cicekleri ezemediniz, ben yillar gectikce daha az sulayip, soldurdum onlari. Sonra baska ciceklere gubre oldular.
Ama bazen ansizin tekrar ciktilar yerden. Yanimdan gecen biri, senin boyunda; bir koku kimdense artik, tipki senin parfumun; arkadan gelen bir ses.. An be an senin olamayacagina kendimi ikna etmek. Okulda, iste..
Bir sey olsan, hadi neyse. Esas zoru zaten bir sey olabilmek birine. Bu degil. Bunun hicbir anlami yok ikimiz de biliyoruz.
Peki ne zaman gelecek bu senden sonra?
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
Tired
I am working on a Monday at 1:11 Am. There is something seriously wrong. I got myself into some shit that I can not get out of. Totally my fault. I am going to go to my flat and sleep in 15 min.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds
So I think Krostif claimed that LSD does not have any bad effects on the body. Why is it so thoroughly banned then? Ask wiki.
Some interesting facts first: "In one study in the late 1950s, Dr Humphry Osmond gave LSD to alcoholics in Alcoholics Anonymous who had failed to quit drinking.[13] After one year, around 50% of the study group had not had a drink — a success rate that has never been duplicated by any other means."
Hmm here it comes: "Sandoz halted LSD production in August 1965 after growing governmental protests at its proliferation among the general populace. "
Some interesting facts first: "In one study in the late 1950s, Dr Humphry Osmond gave LSD to alcoholics in Alcoholics Anonymous who had failed to quit drinking.[13] After one year, around 50% of the study group had not had a drink — a success rate that has never been duplicated by any other means."
Hmm here it comes: "Sandoz halted LSD production in August 1965 after growing governmental protests at its proliferation among the general populace. "
By the mid-sixties the backlash against the use of LSD and its perceived corrosive effects on the values of the Western middle class resulted in governmental action to restrict the availability of the drug by making any use of it illegal. Despite a history of positive results of judicious use under controlled circumstances, LSD was declared a "Schedule 1", even though this entails that the drug has a "high potential for abuse" and is without any "currently accepted medical use in treatment". LSD was removed from legal circulation. To support this action, the United States Drug Enforcement Administration claimed:
Although initial observations on the benefits of LSD were highly optimistic, empirical data developed subsequently proved less promising ... Its use in scientific research has been extensive and its use has been widespread. Although the study of LSD and other hallucinogens increased the awareness of how chemicals could affect the mind, its use in psychotherapy largely has been debunked. It produces aphrodisiac effects, does not increase creativity, has no lasting positive effect in treating alcoholics or criminals, does not produce a 'model psychosis', and does not generate immediate personality change. However, drug studies have confirmed that the powerful hallucinogenic effects of this drug can produce profound adverse reactions, such as acute panic reactions, psychotic crises, and "flashbacks", especially in users ill-equipped to deal with such trauma.[16]
LSD became illegal in California on October 6, 1966. Other U.S. states and the rest of the world followed with the ban.
Yes, Krostif seems to have been right. The only reason it seems was that people drew too much pleasure out of it and some could not deal with strong physicological effects (could they have overdosed?).
It is just so funny that guns are still all over this place while LSD is not!
Tea Party
Since I arrived, the single most practiced activity of mine has been watching TV. To tell you the truth, this may well be the best way to get to know America, as my hanging out in the hotel lobby does not look like it would amount to much.
First, I naively hoped that by watching CNN I could get some sort of news on Europe and ME. Haha... As a result, I have learned all about the "NEWS" in US. The main thing remaining from my previous days is a homeless radio speaker recovered and reunited with his mother. Now yesterday evening's events have totally erased all else. A congress woman (i am still not clear what that means but but but) has been shot in Arizona. It seems the guy was simply crazy and just shot without too much aim or thinking over the consequences.
5 people I think died. 3 over 60. And a 9 year old girl. And the congress woman got a head injury and is still in critical condition.
Some discussions are there from what I understand about whether this was a result of her being explicitly targeted by the Tea Party movement a year ago or so. I started to wonder what this Tea Party movement is. And thank you wiki for enlightening us:
"Various polls have also probed Tea Party supporters for their views on a variety of political and controversial issues. A University of Washington poll of 1,695 registered voters in the State of Washington reported that 73% of Tea Party supporters disapprove of Obama's policy of engaging with Muslim countries, 88% approve of the controversial immigration law recently enacted in Arizona, 82% do not believe that gay and lesbian couples should have the legal right to marry, and that about 52% believed that "lesbians and gays have too much political power.""
There is something seriously wrong about the US. I can to a certain extent understand Europeans, Germans, Swedes, Italian, Turkish, Russian. But the Americans? Where else do people should a bunch of others without any reason almost every month? There are 80 million people with registered guns in the US. I read this statement in Seattle times today and it said 80 million people, not 80 million guns. Either way... A 10 year old boy shot his mother somewhere rural using a RIFLE that resided in his BEDROOM! This was the news from the paper. It said before 12-13, children do not have a whole understanding of the consequences of their actions. Therefore, they are more likely to act impulsively.
Seriously there is something wrong with the US. I find it still hard to press my finger on it. But I will one day.
Now perhaps the whole problem lies here: Now this 10 year old had rifles in his bedroom, because apparently it is custom to hunt as a teenage wherever he was and there is no min. age for obtaining a hunting license either (just beautiful). Some argue that these are all fine but the parents have not done their job of parenting, thus providing all access to guns and enabled the incident. Now others like us (Europeans, non-US humans?) would say, ban the guns, keep the guns locked up AND make sure kids are AFRAID of guns like they come from Elm street hell. DO whatever you can so more people do not die, we would say. WHATEVER.
I come from Turkey, where people constantly get shot at weddings when people are shooting a few hands to the air for celebration. But I am yet to hear a case in Turkey where a person just would shoot anyone in the vicinity. OK, our police has done this a good many times. Ok, there may be like 2-3 incidents that I do not remember. And people like hurting each other in my country where 60% beat up their wives. But for god's sakes. We are most definitely more sane. Most definitely.
First, I naively hoped that by watching CNN I could get some sort of news on Europe and ME. Haha... As a result, I have learned all about the "NEWS" in US. The main thing remaining from my previous days is a homeless radio speaker recovered and reunited with his mother. Now yesterday evening's events have totally erased all else. A congress woman (i am still not clear what that means but but but) has been shot in Arizona. It seems the guy was simply crazy and just shot without too much aim or thinking over the consequences.
5 people I think died. 3 over 60. And a 9 year old girl. And the congress woman got a head injury and is still in critical condition.
Some discussions are there from what I understand about whether this was a result of her being explicitly targeted by the Tea Party movement a year ago or so. I started to wonder what this Tea Party movement is. And thank you wiki for enlightening us:
"Various polls have also probed Tea Party supporters for their views on a variety of political and controversial issues. A University of Washington poll of 1,695 registered voters in the State of Washington reported that 73% of Tea Party supporters disapprove of Obama's policy of engaging with Muslim countries, 88% approve of the controversial immigration law recently enacted in Arizona, 82% do not believe that gay and lesbian couples should have the legal right to marry, and that about 52% believed that "lesbians and gays have too much political power.""
There is something seriously wrong about the US. I can to a certain extent understand Europeans, Germans, Swedes, Italian, Turkish, Russian. But the Americans? Where else do people should a bunch of others without any reason almost every month? There are 80 million people with registered guns in the US. I read this statement in Seattle times today and it said 80 million people, not 80 million guns. Either way... A 10 year old boy shot his mother somewhere rural using a RIFLE that resided in his BEDROOM! This was the news from the paper. It said before 12-13, children do not have a whole understanding of the consequences of their actions. Therefore, they are more likely to act impulsively.
Seriously there is something wrong with the US. I find it still hard to press my finger on it. But I will one day.
Now perhaps the whole problem lies here: Now this 10 year old had rifles in his bedroom, because apparently it is custom to hunt as a teenage wherever he was and there is no min. age for obtaining a hunting license either (just beautiful). Some argue that these are all fine but the parents have not done their job of parenting, thus providing all access to guns and enabled the incident. Now others like us (Europeans, non-US humans?) would say, ban the guns, keep the guns locked up AND make sure kids are AFRAID of guns like they come from Elm street hell. DO whatever you can so more people do not die, we would say. WHATEVER.
I come from Turkey, where people constantly get shot at weddings when people are shooting a few hands to the air for celebration. But I am yet to hear a case in Turkey where a person just would shoot anyone in the vicinity. OK, our police has done this a good many times. Ok, there may be like 2-3 incidents that I do not remember. And people like hurting each other in my country where 60% beat up their wives. But for god's sakes. We are most definitely more sane. Most definitely.
America
It has been now 3 days since I came. Seattle is either dark or gray. It is kind of depressing after Dubai. The city is much smaller than I thought as well. For instance, today I met a Russian lady at the mall and she said it took her 5 years to get used to it. She was from Moscow and she was used to big city life, always something to do... Museums, operas...Who would say a Russian person would be depressed to come to US?
Surprisingly much of my days so far has been spent shopping. I needed so many of the basics. Hat, gloves, umbrella, toothpaste, washing powder, beer, converter, lens solution, lens box (which are sold separate of solution in US). All of these I managed to obtain in the last 2 days, along with many items that I actually did not require: Victoria's secret bra, watch -ok, i kinda needed this as a serious employee of a serious company-, scented candles (now i realize i dont have fire in the flat, no lighters, no matches), computer book, 2011 calender, bunch of socks, face wash, earrings. *i hope that is all* From the original list, I still lack a fleece.
Here, I would like to get into the whole people's clothing issue. I came here full knowing that americans would not dress up. And I did check yearly temperatures of Seattle. But nothing could prepare me for this! People in all kinds of big coats, berets, loose pants, fleeces, rain jackets. I have not seen one sexy lady walking in downtown Seattle. None. And I can relate. I can truly relate. Dear god, how can 7 degrees feel like 0? It does absolutely. It feels kind of like you wish it would snow. So it would take some of this damn cold away. After the gloves my hands feel better. However, I am cold even in jeans! I will try my coat tomorrow. Hope things improve.
Yes, the fleece. Now I have realized that ALL people seem to wear are these loose, high-tech type clothes on the street. Obviously, these are necessary for warmth around here. Now my only real warmth experience with not too much damage to looks is nice fleece. However, I am not satisfied by any fleece. It has to be mildly lady-adapted. It shouldnt make you androgynous all of a sudden. And there you run into a whole problem of trying stuff on before you buy. (not too mention the whole US sizes problem)
Now I do very much understand the online shopping craze in the US. Because without a car, it seems hard to reach shops. Really there are so little in the city center. It almost felt like I have seen it all. And it was not much. Thankfully H&M is here. VS as aforementioned. Some department stores. Lush, body shop, HH (nice shop but not much fleece to have inside of coat). There are of course other shops. But almost nothing interesting. What kind of a small town I have fallen into? American Outfitters (that place I really am not counting on for anything), loft(no idea), macys, nordstrom(ex-swedes making money). I can easily tell that the revenue for world's largest economy does not come from downtown Seattle.
Now I gotta get up and try to put together an outfit for my first day. Both warm ( I will walk to orientation tomorrow and than walk to my workplace) and lady like and a touch sexy, that will make some sort of an impression. Therefore, shoes and dress and socks are still a serious issue.
Surprisingly much of my days so far has been spent shopping. I needed so many of the basics. Hat, gloves, umbrella, toothpaste, washing powder, beer, converter, lens solution, lens box (which are sold separate of solution in US). All of these I managed to obtain in the last 2 days, along with many items that I actually did not require: Victoria's secret bra, watch -ok, i kinda needed this as a serious employee of a serious company-, scented candles (now i realize i dont have fire in the flat, no lighters, no matches), computer book, 2011 calender, bunch of socks, face wash, earrings. *i hope that is all* From the original list, I still lack a fleece.
Here, I would like to get into the whole people's clothing issue. I came here full knowing that americans would not dress up. And I did check yearly temperatures of Seattle. But nothing could prepare me for this! People in all kinds of big coats, berets, loose pants, fleeces, rain jackets. I have not seen one sexy lady walking in downtown Seattle. None. And I can relate. I can truly relate. Dear god, how can 7 degrees feel like 0? It does absolutely. It feels kind of like you wish it would snow. So it would take some of this damn cold away. After the gloves my hands feel better. However, I am cold even in jeans! I will try my coat tomorrow. Hope things improve.
Yes, the fleece. Now I have realized that ALL people seem to wear are these loose, high-tech type clothes on the street. Obviously, these are necessary for warmth around here. Now my only real warmth experience with not too much damage to looks is nice fleece. However, I am not satisfied by any fleece. It has to be mildly lady-adapted. It shouldnt make you androgynous all of a sudden. And there you run into a whole problem of trying stuff on before you buy. (not too mention the whole US sizes problem)
Now I do very much understand the online shopping craze in the US. Because without a car, it seems hard to reach shops. Really there are so little in the city center. It almost felt like I have seen it all. And it was not much. Thankfully H&M is here. VS as aforementioned. Some department stores. Lush, body shop, HH (nice shop but not much fleece to have inside of coat). There are of course other shops. But almost nothing interesting. What kind of a small town I have fallen into? American Outfitters (that place I really am not counting on for anything), loft(no idea), macys, nordstrom(ex-swedes making money). I can easily tell that the revenue for world's largest economy does not come from downtown Seattle.
Now I gotta get up and try to put together an outfit for my first day. Both warm ( I will walk to orientation tomorrow and than walk to my workplace) and lady like and a touch sexy, that will make some sort of an impression. Therefore, shoes and dress and socks are still a serious issue.
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