Clinging to dreams

We all live clinging to dreams.

I had once asked my boss about the Pakistani workers in Dubai. They were working for what... 200$ a month? How could they do it? How come all of them did not throw themselves in front of a car and get the blood money so at least their family could live in a comfort which they would never be able to provide themselves? And my boss had told me that there is always the chance of winning the lottery the next day.

I thought that was ridiculous then. But now I realize. I am no different from them. We are all like that. We all cling to dreams and live for those dreams. That is why by the way, the idea of a heaven is very hard for humans. Especially when most of the time, we just want the things we can not get.

For the last couple of years, my dream has been having the perfect man. That's what has been important. The sole dream. Attributing him all the good qualities and watching him get better and better every day. He has been my growing, developing dream.

But I see that this is wrong. It is also wrong to see a child as a dream. I should choose something else. ASAP.

test 1 2 from phone

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from phone

The poor voodoo doll.I relate to it.

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A notion of country

We, the people of Turkey, like everyone else, are proud people. We have a lot to be proud of. We are the children of Ottoman empire. We have cultivated a culture that produced Rumi. We have ruled peoples from many many different races and religions for hundreds of years. We have not just conquered these people and held them down at the edge of the knife, but we have educated them, learned from them, gave them positions of power. We have not tried assimilating whole countries and people and then killed them when they did not. (Well at least until the very end, when "civil terror" arose) And as the remnants of the empire, we fought against the biggest powers of the day and gained our independence, against most forces of world politics. Not only that, we arose as a country of our own. Not identifying ourselves as Muslim and then leaning to that side. Not allying with Germany or the others in World War II. Not getting under the influence of USSR although we were at their back door. We arose as a modern country, and built our own wealth from nothing.

We are proud of our heritage. Our whole heritage. Not just as the Turks coming from central asia but all our brothers and sisters who have been in Anatolia long before us.

I am baffled usually when people claim when we say we are proud Turks, we are being racist. Do they think when I say I am Turkish I only mean those nomads that came from dry Central Asia on their horses and knew only about weapon and horse? Do they think that my identity is so shallow? Am I so stupid that I skip the fact that a big part of the habits that I see as my culture today are coming all the way from the Roman empire? That those amazing poems written by poets of my country were largely influenced by both Islam and a long history of tolerance and mysticism that has been a trademark of Anatolia? Do I realize that the wealth of my country was fed my the Jewish tradesmen of my country to a considerable extent? That my country's wars were fought as much by the Kurdish people as Turkic?

Why do people think I am such an idiot? I do not accept this.

And the symbol of Ataturk, in case anyone misses it, for us, the newer generations mean exactly this:

• Freedom to believe in whatever you want
• Freedom to discuss any subject including the man himself
• That everyone who lives in the country regardless of race, family, religion, ethnicity, language are EQUAL
• That the state should never favor one set of people over another and provide equal facilities to everyone

We believe these. We are not naive supporters of a man who died 70 years ago, who was alcoholic, and who largely made himself out of old French revolution ideas. We are not blindly clinging to some stoned idea of who a Turk is who he is not. Because when we learned about what Ataturk did, we did not learn about the amazing Turks. There may have been idiot teachers and educators, but that has never came out as what the man himself said. At least to me and to the people I know. We have admired him as a man who has believed in the people of Anatolia and wanted them to be free. And not free with an identity simply of a religious group, nor actually as a race. Free as a people of their own, living and sharing the same space.

This is what we believe in when we talk about Ataturk. For us it is that one person came forward, and did a lot of work. Because yes most of our people were not educated, most of our people did not have anything to eat after the war. Yes he became the symbol of a modern, free Turkey on the Anatolian land.

Wonderwoman

Ok, I have done 13 hours today and counting. If you ask me what I have done substantial... Nothing.